Public Eyebrow Groomer as seen on a Metro Bus

Since I began my adventures in public transportation earlier this year, I have seen a lot of rude, inappropriate and often strange behavior from my fellow carbon-based life forms. I have seen people carelessly put their shoes on bus seats.  I have seen someone leave a half-eaten sandwich on the floor of the train. I have seen a perfectly nice looking middle-aged woman forcibly push her way to the front of a line of people boarding a bus, just to be the first one on. I have shared personal space with people emitting body odors that would make a mortician gag. Yes my friends, I have been to hell and back and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

While annoying, I have grown to accept many of these acts of humanness as part of the deal when taking public transportation. Still, when I see something like today’s featured Metro rider, I can’t help but make a public mockery of it.

Today, while making my connection to the Metro Red Line, I sat across from this girl who was plucking her eyebrows. Maybe some of you think this is OK, but let me tell you, YOU ARE WRONG. Some personal grooming is acceptable on public transportation I would say. Like powdering your nose or putting on lipstick. However, anything involving body hair is an absolute disgusting DON’T. You wouldn’t shave your armpits on the bus, would you? Would she? I don’t know. Fortunately, I made my connection before I had to find out.

Our intrepid photographer CuriousJosh returns with photographic proof that Halloween happened, even though you wouldn’t know if from the trick-or-treater traffic in my ‘hood.

Thanks to the LA Weekly and LA Weekly web editor Erin Broadley for loaning these images–and Josh–to us.

Check out the slideshow here!

(UPDATE 10.22): I just have to drop this in at the top how deeply touched I am by the outpouring of kind words and appreciation. I’m still amazed that things played out as they did — and so successfully. As some of you know I fancy myself something of an amateur one-man Random Animal Assistance League (be it at my house, near downtown or in the wilds of South Los Angeles), but never in my craziest dreams did I think it would include such a scenario. Each and every one of you who took the time to comment blew me away and made my day, so from the bottom of my heart: Thank You!

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The first grown-up book I ever read cover to cover was “Jonathan Livingston Seagull,” which is about gulls as much as another cherished book of mine, “Watership Down” is about rabbits, but when you’re a snot-nosed 9-year-old kid still moving his lips as he reads Richard Bach’s anthropomorphic allegory was just what a wide-eyed punk needed to ever-romanticize the sea birds. Even to this day as a wide-eyed old dude whenever I see a flock of the feathered fiends I’ll pick one out to be my own personal JLS.

Well one picked me out yesterday while I stopped on my bike ride to work along Ballona Creek at Centinela to feed some old bread destined for the dumpster to the birds there. Except it had a big problem in the form of a nasty three-pronged fishhook embedded in its mouth, which prevented it from enjoing the tasty bread bits, closing its beak… or perhaps even living for much longer:

I go into deathless elaboration on the ensuing rescue mission here, accompanied by some long unedited video clips that I’ve embedded after the jump. But if you’re in need of a little bit of a happyendingness or just want to hear a grown man weep, check ‘em out.

(more…)

Prompted by an alleged coyote attack in August and another last Wednesday night wherein a man sleeping on the ground near Travel Town reportedly woke up to find a coyote biting his foot, California Department of Fish & Game wasted no time dispatching wildlife trappers who spent Thursday and Sunday in Griffith Park hunting and killing seven of the creatures.

As an unabashed coyote admirer who’s had a number of uneventful close coyote encounters all over Los Angeles, the tragic kicker of it all, as reported by the L.A. Times, is that having not been able to collect the attacking animal’s DNA from the victim’s foot, there’s no way of knowing if the culprit is among the seven carcasses collected.

But Fish & Game officials don’t let such pertinent bits of evidence keep them from raining death on a whole bunch of otherwise innocent coyote flesh, especially since the department can stand stoic and clenched behind a policy of wholesale slaughter if there’s deemed to be a danger to the public (or at least that segment of it that despite all the “Warning: Dangerous Animals” signage posted throughout the park decides it’s entirely fine to lay oneself out on the grass after dark and go night-night).

My point being this wasn’t a rogue coyote rampantly or randomly attacking someone in their Atwater Village driveway. This was a creature in its familiar environment who made the mistake of sampling what it thought was the best buffet ever.

But the state agency in charge doesn’t see any difference.

“Somebody getting bitten is an imminent threat,” said Fish & Game biologist Kevin Brennan to the Times.

If the park’s surviving coyotes could I’m sure they’d yell “No shit! To us!”

Over 2 weeks old there are still 3 hot spots that continue to be difficult for fire fighters to bring into complete containment and alleviate concerns for the Foothill Cities in the SGV.

Those most threatened, like Monrovia,  have a manned fire information center where locals can ask questions and determine best for themselves what the risk is.  Right now for Arcadia, Sierra Madre, Monrovia, Bradbury, Azusa and Duarte to be in immediate danger the largest of the fire lines would need to climb one ridge, then another then work down into those cities.  In short, conditions and crew in place are such that it likely won’t be happening.  We will need to deal with the fine powdery ash and faint smoke smell until at least the 19th when containment is expected to be complete. (more…)

Actual flyer. Please print, copy, and post wherever coyotes may see it!

A coyote snatched Jessica Simpson’s dog before her very eyes, per a tweet she sent Monday evening.

@jessicasimpson: http://twitpic.com/hrudr – My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!

Clearly, this is incredibly urgent. Coyotes aren’t known to keep malti-poos as pets for very long, and according to urban legend, will often sell these dogs to NFL players to be used as “playthings” for their rottweillers and pitbulls.

“Mommy” Jessica Simpson is offering a reward for Daisy’s safe return, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

In case this turns out badly, I’m asking all Metblog readers to chip in with me for a gift that will help protect any of Jessica’s future canine pals: a leash.

A few short hours ago it looked like my gut reaction that the Angeles National Forest fire had been caused by a fiendish rapscallion (I’m no longer using the word “terrorist”) wasn’t far off the mark.

But wait, what’s this? A new report on KNX 1070 says that the U.S. Forest Service has retracted its earlier “human caused” statement about the fire.

What does this mean? It means my two-year-old daughter’s assertion that dragons are behind the blaze may still be a valid theory.

You can run, Puff, but you can’t hide.

Image: A Michael Martchenko illustration from Robert Munsch’s The Paper Bag Princess.

The Untidy Germaphobe

Today in LA fashion I bring you the “Untidy Germaphobe,” as spotted on the Metro Red Line to Union Station. Yeah, yeah, I know. Criticizing fashion on the Metro is too easy, but I go with what I know.

When I first saw the “Untidy Germaphobe” sitting across from me on the train, I only noticed his surgical mask.

“He must be wearing that because of the poor air quality due to the Station Fire,” I thought to myself, smirking arrogantly at my own reflection in my iPod.

Then my eyes moved down to his hands, which were tautly sheathed in blue latex gloves, perfectly color coordinated to match his jaunty mask.

“Hmm. Germaphobe,” I nodded, feeling quite satisfied that I had him all figured out.

Glancing over one more time, I took in the rest of his ensemble, which continued to vex me for at least three more minutes, or however long it takes to get from Hollywood & Highland to Sunset & Vermont.  The gloves and the mask seemed to match a Mysophobic personality disorder sure, but what the hell was going on with the rest of his scene? First of all, his clothes and boots were visibly filthy. Not approved Germaphobe attire. Second, he smelled like he had not showered in quite some time. Definitely the type of violation that could get you kicked out of Germaphobe Camp.

Taking all of the above into consideration, I finally narrowed this guy down to one of three stereotypes, placing the most weight of course on his peculiar outfit (who wears a snow hat in LA during a heat wave?):

1. Recently discharged Vietnam War veteran

2. Construction worker from the 1950’s

3. Anti-government militia soldier

I can’t decide which one, so I’m leaving it up to you fine readers to decide. What’s this dude’s deal? Feel free to offer your own guess.

Out with the old...

Enough is enough. How many fires must we endure before we start treating arsonists as terrorists?

I know the jury’s still out on the exact cause of these most recent fires, but just consider all the endangered lives, wasted resources, interrupted commerce, health hazards, environmental damage, destroyed property and the psychological damage that one arsonist creates when he ignites a forest.

If it turns out that somebody did indeed purposely start one of these blazes, doesn’t he deserve an all-expense paid trip to Guantanamo Bay?

Or at least somewhere where he can chill out?

Che Needs a Permnanent or Foster Home, Can You Help?

This week’s featured rescue dog is a three year old Vizla/Pit mix who was minutes away from being euthanized at the West Valley Pound before the nice people at Karma Rescue stepped in to help.

Che is a very playful, energetic guy who needs someone who can give him plenty of exercise. He is housebroken, great with other dogs and apparently even friendly with cats too! Che is currently living in a temporary boarding facility where he isn’t getting a lot of attention. He could really use a structured home environment until Karma Rescue finds him a permanent home, so if you can volunteer as a “foster parent,” please e-mail info@karmarescue.org for more information.

You can also stop by Karma Rescue’s regular pet adoption events held at Kirby’s Pet Depot located at 12112 Venice Blvd in Mar Vista (one block east of Centinela). Check Karma Rescue’s web site for more information.