I always understood the general rule to be: one in 10 people is gay.  This ratio, which apparently has been oft-repeated to a point where it still remains lore 10 years after I first heard it (the gay population apparently has not adjusted for inflation), is a nice shorthand for: it could be you.  (One of my favoritest people of all time, Jane Lynch, interviewed with Terry Gross on NPR yesterday, and this was her reaction to her 20something realization that she is gay: “Oh man, really?”).  The threat that you could be the one left holding the rainbow flag is the greatest fear tactic of all: it results in the simultaneous internalization and externalization of one’s homophobia.  This is, in part, what moves certain people to go to the polls, draw the little iron curtain, and, in the comfortably private, if not stuffy, polling station, mark a mark that will seal the fate for all those ones in tens, if not themselves.  And they are, of course, protecting the children.  Remember the children!

Yesterday – one year after Prop. 8 passed here, and one day after a similar referendum passed in Maine – Equality Network organized “Death to Discrimination,” a march-and-mourn protest and rally in Silver Lake.  The LA Times estimates that 60 people were present when the march started, but grew to a bit over 200 as the march marched up Vermont and down Sunset towards its destination in front of Le BarCito at Sunset Junction (overall, a decent turnout, but a far, far cry from the 700+ people who RSVP’d for the event on Facebook — like certain people I’m sometimes frustrated to know, you’ll always have flakes).  As the speakers began their spiels to the converted, the number of people dwindled – slowly at first, then “exponentially faster,” as Narinda Heng, my fellow mourner, observed.  Tip to future organizers: a rally and protest aren’t the Oscars.  Keep the speeches short well before the orchestra starts to hum its boredom.

A handful of pictures from the post-march rally, after the jump.

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Sigh.  Maine.  In a scenario all too familiar to those of us in California, gay marriage opponents currently are celebrating their successful drive to prohibit gay marriage via public vote in the Pine Tree State.  For those of you keeping count, that’s the 31st state in our Union to have the issue defeated at the polls.   Meanwhile, one year after the passage of Prop. 8, gay rights proponents will be meeting en masse tonight at the Vermont and Santa Monica Red Line station at 7.  There, Equality Network will host a Death to Discrimination March, led by a New Orleans-style funeral, headed due north to Sunset, then to The Black Cat/Le BarCito in Silver Lake, where a roster of series will rally the troops.  After an appropriate time for mourning and moving through the stages of grief, organizers plan to continue fighting the good fight (i.e., “Don’t mourn.  Organize.”), and hopefully, there will be some talk about education and de-clawing the anti-marriage coalition’s fear tactics.

It’s not over.

Virgina Masen's custom customization.

One of the most awkward things about being part of a minority is that you are at once the local spokesperson for the Minority, and the first person the Majority goes to for comfort.  For example, the day after Prop. 8 passed, I was sitting in my office, my little fit of depression tempered by a little relief that the American electorate actually went out of its way to make sure Mr. Obama won.  Someone walked into my office, and the first thing she said to me was: “No one should sit on the back of the bus!  No one.  Can we talk about this at lunch?  I’m really upset” and walked out.  I felt like I had been hit by a bus. And this is the response I had over a course of several days, from all sorts of people.  Well, better late than never.

The gay rights movement, like many minority groups, learned that in order to get things done, you really have to swallow your pride (that’s pride with a little p) and enlist the help of the majority group who sits in the positions of power and finally – finally – is sympathetic to your cause, is willing to gamble its political currency, and take the credit for it all once the goal is realized.  Enter FAIR (Freedom Action Inclusion Rights), an organization quickly organized after the passage of Prop. 8.  At FAIR’s request, Shepard Fairey created a poster intended to galvanize the movement as well as his Hope poster did for the MoveOn set.  The result is slightly more affecting than American Apparel’s retro, almost whimsically passive “Legalize Gay” tshirts:  his is a gnarled fist with the words “Defend Equality/Love Unites” above and below [insert snarky comment about his source material for the fist here].  You can buy shirts and the poster on FAIR’s website here (the politics of inclusion necessitates the politics of fundraising), but if you want to show all your gay friends that you really care, come out to Andaz in West Hollywood on November 12th.

Read about the Love Unites Shepard Fairey Equality Project after the jump

Tom Colicchio

“The idea that religious leaders are continuing to shape state law is just wrong.”

Remember last fall’s boycott of El Coyote restaurant in West Hollywood by supporters of same-sex marriage after it was learned an owner had donated money to the campaign to pass Prop 8?

El Coyote had a sizable gay clientele on Thursday nights, the unofficial “gay night” at the restaurant, which packed the place. That all changed in the aftermath of Prop 8’s passing when the owner’s name appeared on donor lists that were available online and publicized by some media outlets.

Demonstrators appeared in front of the restaurant, business fell off on Thursdays, the pilloried owner did herself no favors when she tried to explain herself, saying if she had a chance to do it all over again, she would do the same thing, citing her religious convictions.

Such a mess for such a mediocre restaurant.

Enter Tom Colicchio, Bravo TV’s Top Chef lead judge and owner of Craft, his first venture into the  Los Angeles restaurant world, located in Century City. (more…)

After much handwringing and consideration, Equality California, the gay rights organization, has decided to hold off until 2012 to push for a ballot initiative to repeal Prop 8, which banned same-sex marriage in the state. An impassioned debate over whether to place an initiative on either the 2010 or 2012 ballot had been playing out over the past several months.

I initially wrote about it here last month, when three gay rights organizations successfully got the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force in DC on board  to wait until 2012, which at the time I suspected was the writing on the big gay wall.

In a related matter, some gay leaders are at odds over a hastily planned march for marriage equality in Washington DC this fall, on October 11th.

“From Hollywood, the newlywed capital of the world; here come the newlyweds!” will never sound the same again to Prop 8 supporters. Pity.

The Newlywed Game, the game show that started in 1966 and is now hosted by Carnie Wilson and sponsored by the eHarmony personals site, is scouting for married same-sex couples via Craigslist. Contestants need to be legally married in one state. From Craigslist:

NOW CASTING!!!

The Game Show Network is currently casting season 2 of
“The Newlywed Game”

Producers are seeking fun, outgoing couples to participate in the next season of this classic television game show!

Gay Couples: *Marriages must be legally recognized in 1 state

If this sounds like you or someone you know, please contact the Casting Team IMMEDIATELY at:
TheNewlywedGame@embassyrow.com
PLEASE INCLUDE: Names/Ages, City/State, Phone Number (with area code), Email Address, Wedding Date, and PHOTO.

All participants must be 18 years of age or older and married 2 years or less.

eHarmony recently got on the big gay bandwagon thanks to an anti-discrimination suit in New Jersey that forced them to climb on board. Before that, the site barred same-sex match-ups for their users. Times change.

As deadlines for filing, gathering signatures and fund raising loom, gay rights groups are still debating the timing of a ballot initiative to overturn anti-same-sex marriage Proposition 8, which passed last November with 52% of the vote.

The two dates in question are the November elections in 2010 and 2012. Those pushing for holding off until 2012 cite flat poll numbers favoring same-sex marriage since last year’s election, linking them to the difficulties it would create for raising the enormous amount of money necessary to undertake another ballot initiative drive. The Prop 8 campaign cost more than $80 million, with those opposing it spending $43 million.

Two weeks I posted about three gay rights groups in California that joined together, with the endorsement of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force in DC, to release a statement calling a 2010 initiative “rushed and risky.” Called “Prepare to Prevail,” its approach calls for a lengthy grass roots movement that engages minority communities that overall supported Prop 8; and waiting for statewide poll numbers to show a 60% approval rating for same-sex marriage before an initiative appears on the ballot. (more…)

"I’m a blogosphere virgin. I don’t read blogs. Blogs feel like they’re a dime a bushel. They’re endless. Like cockroaches..."

Out, gay-as-a-picnic-basket, proud, loud, blog-challenged and, by all accounts, liberal director Todd Holland inadvertently got sucked on to the Hollywood Liberal Shit List last week. However, the move looks to be temporary in light of his good-natured and at times bitchy response, in addition to being nominated this year for a directing Emmy for 30 Rock, the sitcom starring über-liberals Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey. His placement on the HLSL was further complicated by the fact that he got legally married to his partner last year before Proposition 8 was passed.

How it happened: At a panel discussion about gay Hollywood, Holland answered a question about whether he would advise gay actors in Hollywood to come out. Leave it to some nasty bloggers to take his response and “twist or warp” his words into anti-gay remarks.

The panel discussion took place at Outfest, the Los Angeles gay film festival held each July at The Directors Guild (a.k.a. Hollywood Liberal World Headquarters.)

So now the LA Times, LA Weekly and those spiteful, overly-sensitive gay blogs manned by (to use Holland’s word) “cockroaches” are tripping over themselves as he trips over himself to clarify and over-explain what he really meant or really meant to say– or more likely wishes he hadn’t said at all in the first place.

A condensed version of what played out… (more…)

In one of Chal Pivik’s posts on the efforts to repeal Prop 8 I chimed in the comments that I’d post specifics of things that are happening in the SGV to move the project along.  For those of you not keeping count Prop 8 passed easily in my corner of LA despite the efforts of many to encourage a “no” vote.

My wife and I will again be talking with the neighbors regarding the need to have Equal Marriage rights.  Our first chance is coming up this weekend as Equality California is having a canvas of Glendale and Pasadena this weekend (Sunday July 26).  The canvas will involve going door to door talking with people regarding the need for Marriage Equality.  They need more volunteers to be able to saturate the area.

Deets: Occidental College, 1600 Campus Road, Los Angeles Sunday, July 26 4 p.m. to 9 p.m.

The full press release letter after the jump.

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Our estimable friend and blog author, Chal Pivik posted a description of the statement “Prepare to Prevail,” written by three LGBT advocacy groups.  These groups urged advocates of marriage equality to wait.  Or specifically “Going back to the ballot [...] in 2010 would be rushed and risky.“  To me, equality is 2010 is “rushed” in much the same way that it was rushed, by Brown, in 1954. Does it strike anyone else as noteworthy trivia that the Brown decision of May 17, 1954 was 50 years to the day prior to implementation of Goodridge v. Department of Public Health (i.e. the first same-sex marriages in the United States)? (more…)