It’s not easy to live in LA.  You’ve got to have a certain toughness.  Especially if you are struggling to make ends meet… and who isn’t these days?

Certainly our fair city is having a hard time.  And it seems that one of the answers the people who run this place have is raising the fine on just about everything having to do with driving.  Forget about the impact on the populace.  There’s a new attitude and it seems to be…  let’s make new laws to take as much money as we can from the people of this city.

Now I’m not an advocate of scofflaws who drive like maniacs and endanger peoples lives by their bad driving.  Those losers should be off the road… but I can’t help but wonder what kind of message politicians are sending to us folks when they raise the parking rates to outrageous sums, slap $50 parking fines on expired meters, boot and tow cars after three unpaid parking tickets … it used to be 5 (lots of money in getting a car out of hock) and now are suggesting that putting more cameras at intersections can raise millions for the city.

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If you take a look at the “Press Releases” section of the Los Angeles City Council’s website, there seems to be something funny going on regarding the listed dates of the Council’s press releases.  Some of the dates, as late as 12/2/10, have not yet occurred.  If you click on the press releases in question, you get a mixture of press releases dated in 2009 and earlier in January 2010.

Thus far, I have come up with three possibilities as to what’s going on:

1.  The Council has gone French on us, and is using European-style dates, ordered by date/month/year.  However, even that would not explain the 12/2/10 listing.

2.  There’s a combination of 2009/2010 wrong year fail and mistakenly listing the dates of planned events in the “date” column of the website, rather than the more correct date of the press release.  However, if you continue to click down the list of press releases, you also see a jumble of correct press release dates listed along with dates that correspond neither to the date of the press release nor to the event described in the press release.

3.  The L.A. City Council has the ability to see into the future.  If that’s the case, then please, Council members, issue a press release dated February 7, 2010 naming the winner of the Super Bowl.  I’m looking up my bookie’s phone number right now.

It’s not often I get to feel glad that I’m not a (reported) billionaire, but I’m glad I am not 49-year-old private equity investor and newly fledged Deputy Mayor Austin Beutner.

Beutner was last week appointed the mayor’s new deputy  and chief executive for economic and business policy. The media title is “Job Czar.”  He will also have, quoting the Times, “a new line of direct authority over the Department of Water and Power, the Port of Los Angeles and the economic and business policies at Los Angeles World Airports.”

Columnists at the Times and the Daily News acclaimed the appointment of Mr B, of whom almost no one had ever heard. Local unemployment stands at over 12 percent. It’s much higher in the neighborhoods where the major current career opportunities are with the Crips and Salvator Maratrucha. Clearly, jobs are a huge priority. Said the mayor, “Austin has a real vision for economic development and job creation.”

First and foremost, Beutner said he’d try to make LA  (the Times said) “a friendlier place for the sort of businesses that create well-paying jobs.”  Excuse me, but this is where I came in. For 30 years and four mayoral administrations, mayors and deputy mayors have promised exactly the same thing. As a result, tax structures have been gently shuffled, regulatory bureaucracies have received many a mild tweak and national campaigns have been launched to sell the world on LA’s commerce-friendly attractions.

No one has claimed these measures turned LA into a business paradise. But during this period, two utterly contradictory business developments did take place…

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Okay.  I am humbled and I am in awe.  I recently wrote about getting an unjustified parking ticket in Hollywood.  It was the second time this year I got one in which I had paid for an hour returned to find a ticket, with 20 minutes still in the meter.  At $50 a pop, I have been beyond frustrated.

After writing about it the first time, Eric Garcetti contacted me and offered help.  I didn’t deal, just paid the ticket.  This time, I vowed to fight. And miraculously someone in his office researched the problem, found that the meters were off in certain areas… and had the ticket refunded by the city.  All I can say is that this is one politician who rocks!  He actually listens to the problems of his peeps and does something to ease their hardship. He’s my new political hero.

And he responds to lots of other issues as well.  I recently wrote his office about the Medical Marijuana Ordinance that was being considered.  I  had some thoughts and suggestions for making this new law work for patients, and one of his deputies actually called back AND emailed me in response.  I wrote to every councilperson and only got personal responses only from his and Tom LaBonges office.  Pretty amazing.  Most politicians send a form response and you never hear anything about the issue again.

It’s great to know that Eric Garcetti is on top of his districts needs and really does respond.  He’s the kind of guy I’m proud to have representing me.  Thanks!  We need and appreciate the hard work you and your office are doing!

Hey Angelenos, you think this rain sucks? Just wait until General Zod unleashes his justly wrath upon those who fail to worship his Zodliness!

How best to pledge your allegiance, you ask?

First, forget all about the son of Jor-El! “Superman,” as you call him, wasn’t there to stop Prop 8, he didn’t do a damn thing about Haiti and he sure as hell wasn’t there yesterday in Massachusetts.

Second, make your way to the Egyptian Theatre this weekend, where the American Cinematheque is presenting a digital restoration retrospective that features classic films that have undergone digital facelifts. Why? Because among the films being screened are a double feature of Superman (1978) and Superman II (1980) on Sunday. I don’t think I have to tell you who to root for in the latter.

And finally, go out and buy a dozen of these suckers.

That is all, humans.

Image: Zod, by Earth-based artist P5YCHIC.

So, are you mystified about the state of same-sex marriage in California? At first glance it looks easy. On one side, you’ve got your proponents of same-sex marriage: Advocacy groups like the ACLU; big corporations like Google; and Americans everywhere who think that other people’s romantic lives are none of their business. And on the other side you’ve got rich Mormons, Carrie Prejean, and people who think that marriage is a totally sacred institution that’s always been treated with the utmost respect throughout all of human history and nobody ever gets divorced and Ted Haggard was FRAMED dammit.

But look a little closer, and you’ll find that California has a weird and complex relationship with same-sex marriage, and that proponents of “opposite marriage,” as the eminent Ms. Prejean has termed it, have had quite a fight on their hands when it comes to preserving their way of life, which by the way is honorable and traditional and totally without any problems. Also whenever gay people get married God gives a kitten pancreatic cancer.

Sorry. My point is that the recent history of marriage in California is a bit of a labyrinth, and if you’re going to try to understand the case that began in court last week — Perry v. Schwarzenegger –  you’re going to have to learn a little history.

So here it is.

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If there’s any film that deserves to be screened in 3D IMAX, it’s The Young Victoria, a beautiful drama by director Jean-Marc Vallée that showcases the even more beautiful Emily Blunt, star of My Summer of Love, The Devil Wears Prada and Sunshine Cleaning.

But since it’s not possible to see Ms. Blunt gloriously projected on a 60-foot-tall screen (at least not for a few more weeks), we’ll have to settle for seeing her at the Grove.

Yes, the actor will be making an in-the-flesh appearance this Thursday after the 7:15 p.m. screening of The Young Victoria for some hot Q&A action. Purchase tickets here.

What’s the film about, you ask? The official description from Her Majesty’s Facebook page puts it rather succinctly: “The Young Victoria chronicles Queen Victoria’s ascension to the throne, focusing on the early turbulent years of her reign and her legendary romance and marriage to Prince Albert.”

Blunt is so alluring as the Queen, that it makes this humble blogger think perhaps a monarchy isn’t really such a bad idea. In fact, a recent story on NPR pretty much confirmed my fear that The Great Experiment has failed.

Think England would take her naughty colonies back?

Image: Emily Blunt in The Young Victoria.

Yes, the City Council is STILL (I won’t say “hashing out”) working on the Medical Marijuana ordinance, and there’s an important vote tomorrow.

If you care about making a good law that supports the good dispensaries and gets rid of the creepy drug fronts, how about checking out the sample letter you can send, and the list of all the Council contact info? It’s right here after the jump.

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Yet another example of (borrowing from the estimable Mr Jalopy) Going Out Of Business In LA:   The Santa Monica Food Truck Debacle of 2010.

It was only a matter of time before someone came up with the idea of “hosting” a few of the popular gourmet food trucks (PLEASE don’t call them Roach Coaches!), creating a rotating hub of deliciousness.

The corner of Santa Monica and 14^th was just such a hub, and the magic lasted all of about one day before the City showed up wanting their piece of the pie (or bite of a grilled cheese, or taco, or brisket, or whatever).   The location had its soft open on Monday (Yay, Pete, getting in there!) with India jones, Barbie Q’s, Fishlips, and the Grilled Cheese Truck, and was closed down on Tuesday.

Barely one whole day of operations.

Tuesday’s lineup was supposed to be FrySmith, Barbies Q, India Jones and Dainty Cakes.   The City claims the property owner doesn’t have the right food service paperwork on file. Nevermind all the individual trucks have it – Hey the whole state’s broke – Let’s tax the hell out of small businesses trying to get new ideas off the ground, even if it puts them out of business in the process.

I get it – local brick-and-mortar restaurants are feeling the threat from these trucks. To which I respond, “Free Market, Baby!”  Let the market be free already.

Pissed off? Hungry?

Email the Santa Monica City Council at council@smgov.net and codecompliance@smgov.net. Don’t forget to CC the food truck lot guy at smfoodtrucklot@gmail.com.

Follow the food truck lot guy via Twitter, all you Twitterers –

See you at Santa Monica and 14th — I hope!

Raise your hand if you’re out of town this weekend, and ever since you heard the story of our latest adventures in international terrorism, you’re dreading the increased labyrinthine draconian-ness of the TSA’s vile ministrations, all in the name of Keeping Us Safe From Harm.

On the way out of LA, I remarked to the guy in back of me in the security line — as we were both struggling to stuff laptops back into bags and tie shoelaces at the same time — that “I feel safer already,” adding a quick smirk to let him know it was just a joke. The smirk didn’t do its job, apparently, because in return all I got was that wide-eyed look of terror that says “Shut up, you fool! Are you trying to get us all THROWN IN GITMO?” I thought we’d be a bit more lighthearted in Obama’s America, but I guess not.

I’ve always found LAX to be one of the more relatively sedate airports in terms of security, owing, I suppose, to the fact that the good folks at Homeland Security don’t seem to care too much about any state west of the Mississippi that doesn’t have the words “liberty,” “tyrrany,” or “muzzle velocity” in its state motto. LA and San Francisco don’t get much in the way of security dollars, but you can be sure that the God-fearing Palinites in Butt Nugget, Idaho will be able to afford whatever cutting-edge technology they need to defeat the Saracen hordes.

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