Sure, we all know the rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

But if you were actually fighting the Redcoats 232 years ago, guess what else that bright mortar fire would have revealed?

Blood, guts, brains, and body parts galore.

That’s right, kids. This country didn’t gain it’s independence by outperforming the British in Dance Dance Revolution.

Our freedom was won with bayonets, muskets, cannons, and good-old-fashioned fisticuffs.

Which means red-blooded Americans shouldn’t shy away from violent entertainment, but rather embrace it as a reminder of how our forefathers told King George to shove it.

Luckily for Angelenos, the Silent Movie Theater has the intestinal fortitude to give us exactly what we need.

Starting tonight at 10:00 p.m. and continuing every Saturday throughout July, the Cinefamily presents Holyfuckingshit: Gore Comedies, a series of four films so bloody they’d make the Overlook Hotel blush.

According to the Silent Movie Theater, these films are “so gory that they become hysterically absurd—and funny as all hell. You’ll be screaming with childlike glee watching these pillars of putrid entertainment.”

The series features Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987) on July 5, Street Trash (1987) on July 12, Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive aka Brain Dead (1992) on July 19, and Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991) on July 26.

Consider watching these films your patriotic duty.

Image: Bruce Campbell and screaming woman in Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn.

Read more

0

Spotted in Santa Monica, this fire engine red Jeep Cherokee Limited sports flags, stickers, and … Barbie dolls?

More Malibu Barbie’s Jeep here

0

Hello Friends! If you go and check out Spaced Invasion, you’ll find some details for two awesome Spaced-centric events happening in Los Angeles! There’s a signing on the 23rd at Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash - West, and a free screening of some choice episodes at the Arclight followed by a Q&A with Simon Pegg, Jessica Hynes and Edgar Wright moderated by Kevin Smith!

What’s Spaced? You mean, you don’t know? Understandable, I suppose, because the  series hasn’t been available stateside, until now! On July 22nd, you and all your friends ought to make haste to your local DVD retailer, throw down some dollars and rush home to experience some of the funniest TV ever! Here’s a more thorough description from the press release:

Spaced: The Complete Series, a 3-disc set from BBC Video, features all 14 surreal episodes of the award-winning show, described by Pegg as “a cross between The Simpsons, The X-Files and Northern Exposure.” Boasting over eight hours of content, the DVD set features bonus material including the original commentary from the UK release plus all-new commentary from Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill), Kevin Smith (Clerks, Dogma), Matt Stone (South Park, Team America: World Police), Bill Hader (Superbad, SNL), Patton Oswalt (King of Queens, Ratatouille) and Diablo Cody (Oscar®-winning writer of Juno).

0

Have you ever said to a friend: I’m going to commemorate my friendship with you in a framed photograph, something that says exactly how I think of us.

One of these kids did:

Alas, it appears that they are friends in frame only. More after the jump.

Read more

6

Picture nabbed from planet pooks

Hello friends! We know a more than a few of you reading this will go out of their way to ride a bike anywhere and everywhere they can. Even places that seem crazy! Attempting to survive while perched atop a frame of hollow metal with some wheels stuck on and conquer mountains, forests, deserts and even the freeway!

But more dangerous, more foolhardy and just plain more inconvenient for everyone involved… are those riders who choose to ride on the sidewalk!

Click here to read on!

1

Conundrum [kuh-nuhn-druhm] — noun — A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma. Anything that puzzles.

I’m puzzled.

Driving west on Santa Monica Blvd. near Century City today I saw the Hummer in the distance. Old school Hummer, the kind you don’t see that often these days, but still, not that out of the ordinary in this neck of the woods. As I got closer I recognized the bumper sticker as one of those “Coexist” stickers. You know the ones.

I fumbled around with my cell phone camera (that’s still legal, right?) and quickly got the shot before he got away because I wasn’t sure I believed it.

Does it makes sense to you?

4

Here’s a rare tweet from Metro:

See stars, stripes and fireworks at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend. Go Metro and the shuttle is free!!

For the full press release, click on this. Happy Birthday, America!

0

My friend Andrew Pogany, senior editor and chief LA-booster over at Flaunt, is presiding over yet another fantastic event (after curating LA-cultural-stuff affairs at Taix for some time (at one event, Eric Garcetti read an abridged early history of Los Angeles, and, if memory serves, sang a little song)). Now, “Twilight Drinks at the Griffith Park Clubhouse” takes over the historic, FDR-sponsored Spanish revival lounge and supper/brunch joint–and its gorgeous views of the Park’s golf course–every Wednesday night this summer, from 7:30p-11p. All this, and special prizes go to those in the best Caddyshack costume! The fine, fine film itself will be screened weekly on the outdoor patio. So, we’ve got that goin’ for us…which is nice.

Barbeque burgers, veggie burgers, grilled hot dogs & mac & cheese are on the menu, ranging from $6-$10. Full bar with drinks ranging from $4-$10 and beers on tap. Feel free to dress as your favorite Caddyshack character; however no golf attire will be required.*

The info on the event follows behind the jump.

* I love that they decided this was necessary to add

Read more

1

Being vegan in any place on the planet Los Angeles, I get asked a lot where to find good vegan food in and around the town. Of course I’ve got my list of favorite stops, and so does everyone else. It’s high time someone started compiling those lists into one big resource, and Steve Cvar is apparently the person to do that. He dropped me a line yesterday about this Google Map he’s putting together with names and locations of vegan and vegetarian locations across the city and notes that it’s open so anyone can add to it. He’s off to a great start already, but I know I’ve got some things to add to it. Maybe you do as well?

3

This week’s dedicated boozer award goes to the 74-year-old woman, who after smashing her Caddy into Joe’s Food Mart in Norwalk and driving halfway through the store, got out, removed a six pack of Budweiser from the refrigerator and tried to purchase more beer. Kudos to the cashier who, the Press-Telegram reports, would not sell to her.

It’s a holiday weekend folks, remember to buy enough beer.

(Schizoform’s beer straw photo used through a creative commons license.)

0

Arcadia PD has a habit of being innovative.  Arcadia PD has a great blog which I reported a while back HERE.

The have launched a program that works like neighborhood watch for crime, this time for speeders that put a ‘hood at risk.  It is called Neighborhood Speed Watch Program. They train them how to use a radar gun and then they can track and record speeds.  If a pattern of excessive speed is there APD can then step in and increase enforcement through a variety of other means.

0

Today’s LA Times has a review of a young adult book called I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone, by Stephanie Kuehnert. You can read the review here, and check out Stephanie’s website here. And if you’re so inclined you can read the first chapter of the book here.

Steph was my neighbor across the hall in college (for the one year that we both attended Antioch) and we took a creative writing class together. The class was crap, but her writing was always amazing.

Now: Antioch is in Ohio, Stephanie lives in Chicago, and the book is set in Wisconsin. So why do I mention it here? Because she is going to be in town next weekend doing two book-related events.

Saturday, July, 12, she will be doing a reading and signing at Book Soup in West Hollywood at 5:00. Also reading and signing will be local author Alexa Young, whose book Frenemies came out this spring.

Sunday, July 13, Stephanie and Alexa will be joined by other local authors and several local bands at the Virgin Megastore at Hollywood & Highland for their Rock ‘n Read event. I am so excited about this that it’s kind of absurd. Books! And music! Together! I can’t believe this sort of event doesn’t happen all the time. It all goes down at 3:00 and is ALL AGES. Their is an optional $10 suggested donation which will enter you to win a whole bunch of goodies including books and CDs.

See you there?

0

Before I’d even sat down, my stylist asked me for my number. I was taken aback, not because she wasn’t my type or anything - a motherly Russian lady with hairy arms - butin my 30 plus years of having my hair cut, I’d never been asked to give my number.

Not that I never wanted them to ask for my number. Especially Janet, who worked at Freddy & Liana’s in Westwood. She was a ringer for Winona Ryder, making me a repeat customer. It didn’t hurt that she continued to give me the college student discount after I finally fessed up that I wasn’t a UCLA student. (I’m kind of a cheap bastard, and while I never said I was a student, I’d mention that I’d walked over “from campus,” where I’d do story research at the library and visit the student union arcade). I digress…

Truth be told, Aunt Olga at Fantastic Sams wasn’t asking for my phone number, she wanted to know which clipper she should use. I was still offended - has a cheap haircut come down to something as personal as this? What happened to, “how would you like your hair cut?”

It turned out I was a “3,” which Olga reminded me as I took a last look at the finished product. All that and only $15. I was in the chair for less than five minutes. I was tempted to tip her $2, and tell her that was her number, but I gave her $5 to make my total bill an even $20.

Since I’m at a loss for a better closing sentence, any suggestions for cheap haircuts with hot stylists around Los Angeles?

7

I’m going to be completely honest here. I’m thrilled as punch that Babies “R” Us has set up shop in the Los Feliz/Glendale/Atwater Village area (2901 Los Feliz Blvd. or store # 5667 for those keeping score at home).

I used to have to drive nearly 18 miles from Los Feliz to Van Nuys to get decent prices on formula, wipes, and silicone nipples. But now whenever I want to get my hands on burp cloths or piddle pads, I just hop in the car, take a quick jaunt down Glendale Boulevard, turn on Revere, and there I am at Los Feliz Boulevard, happy as a newborn sucking on mummy’s teat.

So, what’s the catch? Well, the location where it opened is already a parking nightmare. In that lot there’s currently a Best Buy, Costco, Toys “R” Us (which I predict Babies “R” Us will envelop), New Hope Chapel, Starbucks, Verizon Wireless, Mimi’s Cafe, Togo’s, Panda Express, Baja Fresh, and Jamba Juice.

Does the neighborhood really need another major shopping destination along Los Feliz Boulevard? And what about the poor locals trying to get to the Americana at Brand? What’s their recourse?

The biggest victim of all may be the Tam O’Shanter Inn across the street. That old girl is 86 years old and still serving up delicious meals to well-dressed customers. But she used to be an oasis in a desert. Now she’s difficult to spot amid the generic strip-mall buildings.

Ahh, who am I kidding? There’s really no catch to this. I’m loving it. I’ll just make sure I buy Seventh Generation diapers, and all will be forgiven. Alright?

Image: Panoramic shot of the parking lot by Mike Winder. Click to gammarayify.

9

Foxypar4’s image used via Creative Commons

I’m a fireworks kind of person. First of all, I grew up in DC, where Independence Day fireworks are something of a religious event. Then add to that my pyromaniac tendencies and general fondness for smash-it-up kinds of stuff and you get a fireworks fan.

You probably already know you can find listings of the fireworks displays in LA and neighboring counties at the LA Times. But if you’re looking for something a little different this year, you might want to contemplate an aerial view. Some possibilities after the jump.

Read more

8