It’s been awhile since I lasted posted here, damn full time work seems to get in the way of various projects, interests, and general internet goofing around. Yet another reason why work should be abolished. Rather than pretend I can somehow be at more than one place at a time, I just popped in to say Adios. It was fun being part of the crew here at blogging.la, but it’s best I stop wasting pixel space here. If you’re interested, you can find my posts over at LAEastside.com, where I’m teaming up with a few other people to give a different take on life here in Los Angeles. Naturally, I will be continuing the Eastside 101 posts (the most recent one being about Brooklyn & Soto) along with the usual dosage of stupidities you’ve all come to expect from me. For even more pendejadas, I’m still going at it over on my personal site chanfles.com/blog. Well, ya ’stubo. Nos vemos al otro lado del rio!

Your Amigo, EL CHAVO!

The ever increasing price for gas I can sorta understand, considering we have some oilmen in charge, there’s an inexcusable war still being fought, and some fools just want to make loot. Sucks, but I can see why gasoline will be going past $4 a gallon. But I was not prepared for this price increase I spotted today at my ghetto Vons: Corn Oil at $7.09! At first I thought it was for one of those huge gallon containers, but nope, it’s for the standard 48oz bottle. I know that food prices are going up around the world, especially corn since its being used for some fake-ass “renewable energy” ethanol efforts, driving up the cost of the corn items we put on the table. And even though I knew prices were rising, it was still a shocker to see a staple product go from around 3.50 to 7.09 in such a short time. Some people have the luxury of not having to look at the price of food items, but for the working poor these little increases add up very quick. Maybe I’ll hold off on making those tacos de papa. I wonder if my local elotero plans on raising the price of corn on the cob as well?

Speaking of eloteros, a few people have started up a new group blog over at LAEastside.com where we intend to cover the city from an “eastsider perspective”, which will be defined, uh, sometime in the future. Yeah, sometime. In the future.

I don’t know about the rest of the city, but in Lincoln Heights yard sales seem to be most common on Fridays. I’m not sure why that is (payday?) but on any given Friday you’ll see a few yards full of stuff someone is trying to exchange for extra cash. There’s a few houses that do it every week and nobody seems to complain; in this neighborhood people understand the concept of trying to make ends meet. While some may object to this type of weekly scene, I appreciate the way it brings people together, offering a reason for neighbors to interact with each other. And once that initial contact with other local residents has been overcome, normal neighborly relations can commence.

I took Julia up on her suggestion to check out the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve but added a few more spots to my day trip itinerary, click ahead if you want to see what I saw. Be warned, lots of pics ahead.

Why should you go and visit a field full of little flowers? Besides the chance to contemplate the wonders of nature, the beauty of the flora around us, the magnificent vistas, and a bunch of other wordy reasons, the main factor that motivates me to head out to the Antelope Valley is just for the drive out of the city! It’s like a mini road trip yet you can still get back home in time to sleep in your own ratty but comfortable bed. Plus you get to see all kinds of stuff that you might not encounter on your usual routines, it can make the trip seem like visiting a whole new place, even if it is nearby. On the start of this trip I got to see some mini trees in the back of a nursery truck, I took that as a good sign.

Plus I got to see a gigantic cellular tree sprouting out of a building. Err, the fake tree illusion doesn’t work so well when it grows thru a roof. FAIL!

I can understand the value of a geodesic home, but I can’t imagine why a matching geo-garage for an SUV would be necessary. Maybe it has its own little loft?

Right around here, where we saw all these poppies and people taking pics, the GPS system claimed that we had arrived. There was no visitor center in sight so after driving a bit, we backtracked assuming we should have turned where the damn computer said goodbye.

If you go up this little paved road, near this memorial, you will end up..

..at a secret mattress burial ground, where the disappointed sleeper comes to dump the memories of all those unsatisfactory nights.

Oof, that’s a lot of discarded memories. Does nobody else love their ratty mattresses?

Back in my day, we’d be happy with some burlap sacks on a bit of straw, but I guess people are getting much more fussy about where they lie. Or lay. Don’t be a cochino, you know what I mean!

Ha! Some other chump makes a wrong turn looking for the poppy fields. You ain’t from around here, is you? Stupid tourists. Let me know when you find the visitor center! Guffaw! Uhh, really, please do.

So it turns out you need to turn off that stupid GPS computer in the car and just keep driving, at least until you see this sign.

Here we go! This is it!

There was some confusion at this sign, compounded by the fact other cars were pulling up right behind as they waited for me to figure this out. So here is what I now know: in order to park your car you need to put $5 into an envelope (I guess they assume you will have the correct change) and fill out the following info on the envelope: Name, Date, Vehicle Lic. No., State, CAMPING, Campsite No., No. of Nights, Check applicable boxes below:, Additional Motorized Vehicles Lic. No., Other, Type of Pass or Discount, Pass No., Amount Enclosed $, DAY USE, Check applicable boxes below:, Parking, Boat Use, Other, Type of Pass or Discount, Pass No., Amount Enclosed $. Then tear off the stub and place the envelope in the green box.

Then you have to fill out the stub, which reads PERMIT, Amount Enclosed $, Date, Type of Pass or Discount, Pass No., CAMPING – Campers Check Out 12 Noon, Campsite No., No. of Nights, Check applicable boxes below:, Additional Motorized Vehicles Lic. No., Other, DAY USE- Valid Date of Purchase Only, Check applicable boxes below:, Parking, Boat Use, Other, and place the stub on your dashboard.

Oh damn, did I bring a pen? Solution: Fuck this shit. Zoom, zoom, park. I’ll pay you later homes, I’m good for it. (Results may vary.)

I assume this is the visitors center. At least that’s my interpretation.

A guide of the various parts of the poppy. I didn’t bring my dissecting knife so I’ll take them at their word.

The circle of life explained. AKA, stuffed animals under glass.

Bored owls preparing to leave the hell of other species, but something tells me escape attempts might be futile.

I learn something every once in awhile: the euphemistic terms for some human functions, aka #1 and #2, are verified to be official, thus sez Sloan! Cuz using the words piss and shit is just way too complicated and insulting for all us civilized folks. Numbers it is! Example: I hereby #1on your puritanical sense of decency. I #2 you not.

Que purty.

Watch for snakes. Stay on trails. Check.

All that driving, all those notices, just to see this tiny little flower. I guess I’m getting old because somehow I understand why it’s worth the trip. Young punks can commence their cries of sellout…now.

Hey look, even more poppies! Trust me, they don’t do anything other than this, but it looks much nicer up in person. Just like a band that you’d rather see live than hear on a cd.

It’s a preserve, so they’re trying to get people not to walk all over the place. It makes sense.

One thing I should warn you about: the lizards are not friendly. They will glare at you, stare you down even, and then run away in revulsion at your approach. It might not look like much, but in this crevice some angry lizard is cursing me with its beady eyes, disgusted at me, the landscape tourist that means well: “I’m bringing spending dollars, Mr. Lagartija, which your neighborhood needs for some necessary improvements. I’m sorry if you’ll be forced to move out of your dirt hole in the process, but it’s not my fault that I can afford to make the trip here. I wish you could stay, but whatever.”

A nice clump of poppies. It looks like soon the whole hillside will be full of these blooming flowers, but it was still a nice display when I got to see it.

Everyone likes a photo-op.

There it is! That mean lizard giving me the mal ojo has been following me around. Okay, time to get out of this place, I don’t want any trouble.

If you’re smarter than I am, you will bring a nice picnic basket to enjoy at these benches.

Extra rooms for the #1 and the #2.

What is wrong with you people? A photo crew ignores the signs about staying on the trails and instead chooses to trample and sit on the poppies. Just cuz you have a fancy camera and a deadline doesn’t make you exempt. Que se te quiebre la camara, que se borren tus fotos.

There’s an overpriced antique store nearby where creepy dolls hang out.

There’s also a detention facility nearby, cross your fingers you or yours never have to spend time inside.

If you want to take a little detour, one site I like to visit in the Antelope Valley are the ruins of the Llano del Rio Colony, a failed Socialist experiment in cooperative living. There isn’t much left, but its still inspiring to see the remains of a place that attempted to put some ideals into practice. If you want to find out more I suggest reading the book Bread & Hyacinths: The Rise and Fall of Utopian Los Angeles. And if you want to visit, it’s in Llano, just before the post office on Pearblossom Hwy.

I think this used to be the giant silo used for alfalfa storage.

Not sure how these were used. You have to admire the use of river rocks, practical and pretty.

One of the large chimneys from the hotel.

The harsh environment hasn’t been kind to the remains of Llano del Rio.

I don’t think all these rusty old cans were from the original inhabitants, though they do look kinda nice.

Robert-Pat 4-Ever 11-12-00. An odd statement of perpetuity on a site that only lasted from 1914 until about 1918.

Yet another secret mattress burial site, but for Socialist beds.

Thinking about strategies for social change can really wear you out, thus it was time for a quick meal to refresh the batteries. There’s not too much eats on offer in Llano, and I wasn’t about to hit up McDonalds or Billy Bob’s Cafe. Mica’s in Littlerock was our choice for a quick pit stop.

Mica’s 7704 E. Pearblossom Hwy
Littlerock, CA 93543
661.944.3223

A decent bean and cheese burrito can be had for $3.50, good enough for this beaner on the go. Speaking of beaners on the go, let’s head on over to our next stop, Vasquez Rocks!

Lots of people know this as the site for Star Trek episodes or other tv and film features, but I visit based on the person they were named after, the Californio Tiburcio Vasquez that used these these rock formations to hide from the law. Born in California when it was still Mexico, he was around when the gringo immigrants were on their Manifest Destiny trip and he watched as they took over. Accused of crimes he could never prove otherwise in the new gringo courts, he went on the run and turned to extra-legal activities to get by. And the Mexicans of the day helped him in his endeavors, as they saw him as a sort of hero for standing up to the new pallid overlords. With all the bashing being heaped on Mexican and other immigrants from south of the Rio Bravo nowadays, I think the time is ripe for a new hero to inspire and galvanize the people that keep getting referred to in passing or as mere things. Super Mojado is a start, but I’m looking forward to some serious transgressors.

Oh yeah, back to the rocks. As you can see here, people like to climb up to the peaks, which some seem to do very quickly. Me? I’d rather take it easy..

..and contemplate resting spots, like these perfectly shaped rock formations designed for napping. I wonder if Vasquez ever took a nap here as well?

And the view is spectacular!

The good thing about Vasquez Rocks is that you can explore much of it in a small amount of time, the climbing around is easier than it looks. Check out this short clip to learn more.

Vasquez Rocks
10700 W. Escondido Canyon Rd.
Agua Dulce, CA 91350
(661) 268-0840

So there you have it, an itinerary for those into flowers, commies, and bandits, all of it easy to experience in one day trip. Don’t you all rush out at once!

Things must really be bad with the housing market crash: earlier today, just by chance, I saw the Westside Rentals Advertising Hearse being escorted into the city impound in Lincoln Heights. Sure, it might be due to some parking restrictions or some other towable offense, but I prefer to see this as a sign the crash is going to deepen. All my knowledgeable opinions come from such incidental observations. Even though developers, economists, and boosters kept insisting everything was okay, who didn’t see this coming? Even an idiot like myself could read the tea leaves. And using those same skills of deduction I hereby declare; estan jodidos!

In a move designed to surprise nobody, the Mayor announced today that he plans to stop pretending to have any progressive agenda for our city and will instead pull his ideas out of the tired old politician hat, preparing the various city departments for layoffs while promising to keep up the hiring of more police. In an informal poll taken by me, and verified to be completely accurate by nobody, it turns out that the excitement some had for this latest Mayor has quickly turned into resounding disappointment. (Somewhere in San Pedro, a former Mayor is giggling into his late night snack of Cheerios and Nilla wafers.) The fact that he’s turned into a typical political being is not surprising; cheating on the wife, boosting for other typical political beings, propping himself up for jobs to come, all of it is to be expected. But his succumbing to the typical law-and-order line at the expense of other city services is an unexpected low. And boringly, regrettably predictable.

I know that many think the answer to crime and gangs is to add more cops to the payroll. But as someone that grew up in fear of both the gangs and the cops, I have to disagree. If anything, he should be cutting the police payroll to fund programs that might have a meaningful effect on the communities that deal with gangs on a daily basis. The heavy hand of anti-crime efforts are basically lost funds, leading to overcrowded prisons and repeat offenders. I’d rather my money went to some prevention. Maybe Laura Chick should also do an audit on the effectiveness of funding LAPD anti-gang efforts, that always seem to be strangely overlooked.

Another oversight is the way normal working class people get lumped into the same social category of the gangsters that live in the neighborhood, as if all of us were individually responsible for the social conditions that create some of the worst anti-social behavior. I hate to break it to all you “middle class” people out there but unless you are willing to take responsibility for the actions of that crazy neighbor down the street, the one you suspect is on anti-depressants and complains about your dogs, then you really shouldn’t be lumping all the people that live in working class neighborhoods with the faults of a few residents. Take for example this appropriate report tonight from the fine journalists at Fox 11. Calling Ramona Gardens “a hotbed for emotions, for violence” right before they mention that according to eyewitnesses, a kid on a bike was tackled by LAPD, got away, then got shot three times and is in critical condition (the LAPD is claiming it was an “armed suspect”, no surprise there) it’s no wonder the neighborhood came out to protest the excessive violence against kids. Even though the gangs are a problem, at the very least they are a known entity that can be worked around, while the LAPD seems to act as a random package of excessive violence, one you can’t predict. And for all their faults, the gangsters amongst us are people as well, flawed but human. Too many dismiss them as nothings, but that’s not so easy to do when you actually know them as neighbors.

Being a product of the Eastside, you’d expect the Mayor to understand certain things. But he’s chosen to turn his back on any sort of vision and is instead flying the menso flag high and proud. Pobre de ti, Antonio.

PS. The pic above is a few years old and unrelated, though it is of some cops parking wherever they want, even though a space was available. They get to do whatever they want. After taking this pic they came out to “look me over.” Jerks.

Under normal circumstances, you would do well to ignore my musical recommendations, unless you’re into accordions and the heavy tuba beats of that chuntaro crap that makes you roll up the car windows in a futile attempt to block it out. But even though I don’t know much about music I’m excited to check out Balkan Beat Box this Friday the 7th at El Rey Theatre as their gypsy-punk style is the kind of sound you want to experience live. Mixing a variety of musical traditions and lots of brass instruments for good measure, it’s the kind of sound that reminds you music is also meant to be celebratory. And did I mention we have 5 pairs of tickets to give away? Click ahead for the details.

UPDATE: Uh, nevermind. Show is canceled.

What does this genre mixing style sound like? Check out this clip here or their myspace page for some more videos on what to expect.

To win a pair of tickets, just name all the Balkan countries, their capitals, their leaders, and the national dish of each. Ha, ha, just kidding. Just leave any old comment with a valid email and I’ll do a random drawing on Wednesday morning.

Err, now for the kinda part. I’m just reading some info on their myspace page and there’s a note that the lead singer was denied entry into the country by Immigration, and it looks like this show might be cancelled. Boo, Hiss, on the pinche Migra! Leave your comments anyways, I’ll find out what’s happening with the show soon enough. Wow, this just might be the shittiest ticket giveaway ever!

Before you ask, the pic above has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Yes, it is good to have the ads everywhere. We are more informeds of the things that we needs to knows. Last time we knowed of what to eats for the Presidents day, and it was the pork chops. But now it is true that we should not eat the chops of the pork, for it is bad for the porks and the ice melt, and we are going to die from the gases. I founds out that the right way is to go veg and be green, for that will be better and the Supreme Master agrees. Based on the latest satellite data sited in a December 2007 article, the gas will be released from the ocean and we will all be poisoned by the gas, from the ocean, and it’s a lot of gas, enough to kill everyone. I want the polar bear to not drown so I will go veg and be green. The bus tells me the things that I wants to know, and the Supreme Master is helping us to be the better place for the grand benefits of the earth.

Thank you Dash bus for introducing us to the love of the Supreme Master. Like the Honorable Antonio R. Villaraigosa, commented:

Supreme Master Television offers a viable alternative� you promote programs of peace and brotherhood �your station offers examples of compassion and love� Supreme Master Television reminds us of our shared humanity and our common commitment to building a better world for ourselves and our children.�

When we go up into the heaven together in the peaceful raising of us all, I will forever be a grateful for Dash bus ads bringing me the knowledge of the go veg be green love of the Supreme Master.

Soon I’m going to follow through with my intention of doing a post reviewing some Eastside Tamalerias; I’ve been meaning to do it for awhile but you know, stuff happens. There just seems to be less time for me to work on my usual pendejadas, pero pronto, you’ll see. But I can safely say the best tamales you’re likely to find in the city are usually the ones from that person selling some on the side just to make a little bit of money. This morning’s breakfast arrived to me unexpectedly at a local laundromat where a woman and her two kids pulled up in their auto with a bounty of tamales stuffed in perfect rows in a steamy plastic cooler. The boy walked around the washing machines repeating the phrase “Tamales” in a bored fashion that couldn’t mask the fact he’d rather be sprawled out in front of his TV watching Saturday morning cartoons. But on such a bleak, cold morning, waiting for the rags to dry, having had nothing to chew on so as to beat the Saturday crush of fellow clothes washers, how can one resist the lackluster cry for a tamal? Click ahead for a pic of the accompanying drink!

Hot chocolatey champurrado, the perfect morning cup. While some of you might look forward to your morning fruit, toast, or pancakes with gobs of syrup, nothing wakes me up like a savory maiz packed $2 breakfast like this one.

I wasn’t sure how to celebrate President’s Day this weekend until I spotted this authoritative billboard with yet another informative bit of direction on how to live my life. Pork Chops it is! Thank you, once again, relentless advertising for the careful and thoughtful guidance you selflessly give to us each and every day.