When is a parking ‘tard not a parking ‘tard?  This Chevy Avalanche was taking up two nice spaces in a West Side supermarket parking lot.  On foot, I snapped this picture before I noticed that the driver was inside.  As a result of seeing me, I think, the driver then started the engine and took off.

So, does that make him a parking ‘tard?  A standing ‘tard?  No ‘tard at all?  If my rudimentary photo software would have allowed me to black out the license plate, I would have done so unless and until a “guilty” verdict was reached.  What do you think?

I had to run out to my vet this afternoon to pick up some medication. I was driving east on Burbank Blvd. (the way this monster of a truck is facing) and attempted to turn right into the partially blocked parking lot. Luckily, I have a small car, but I still had to back out into the street and maneuver to pull in. When I went across the street to take a photo, I saw several other cars have the same difficulty. Except for the Jeep that just drove right over the curb! Maybe this person hates pets. Whatever the case, he’s a jerk.

Sorry to toot my own horn, but to quote Ruth666, “what good is a blog if not for shameless self-promotion?”.  Barely two years ago I was invited to join the Metblogs crew and here I am at post 600.  A little reflection of what I have posted in a semi-best of.  Since I haven’t hit 1,000 (yet…late 2010 maybe) I couldn’t quite come up with 10 favorites but here is what I have:

• Ride along with Pasadena PD that ended with a murder.
• The answer to gang violence is teaching virtues to our kids.
• Monrovia’s not so stellar human rights and sexual harassment record with its police dept employees.
• Beating the local TV and print media with a story on the Sierra Madre Fire in ‘08.
• Ride along with Arcadia PD that ended in a Q&A with our readers questions.
• After an attempted toss out of a press conference, I asked “Is a blogger the media” and got a boat load of answers.
• I interviewed a parking tard named “Richard”, our readers renamed him “Dick”.
• I chronicled a few hawks on my street, the youngest of which could not quite get a grip on his first trip out of the nest.
• This car lovin’ guy wants a rail system that works and brought out the crayons for his dream routes.

There you go, not too bad a list for a gabacho with a keyboard out in the SGV.  I can’t tell you what I’ll post next but I promise to continue to annoy you one key stroke at a time.

After the reader submitted Parking Tard a few days ago people have been on the hunt. This fine example was spotted in Santa Monica near 5th and Colorado, 6/4/09, by jeffro:

OH: “I used to drive an Escalade but I could barely get both my doors open in these tiny parking spot pairs. So I sold it and got this sensible Mini Cooper. Now it’s so easy to get my car right down the center line and there’s plenty of room to get the doors open.”

Ok, not really overheard, but you can imagine.

Alternatively: “it was a messy divorce. She got parking space #11 and he got space #12. Still no agreement on who gets the car.”

One of our readers, Geoffrey McStroul sent in that photo and the following story:

Ok, so here’s my parking tard story (photos taken on a Treo 650):
I’m going to Western Bagel this morning (the one in Woodland Hills)
and the area of the parking lot nearest the Western Bagel and the
Coffee Bean mostly has compact spots, and there is this Chevy
Silverado taking up not 2 spots but FOUR spots. Silly me, I didn’t
take the pictures before I went into Western Bagel, but when I came
out I managed to take 2 photos before I was caught and unable to take
the piece de resistance of parking tard photos:

Owner: Can I help you?
Me: Is this your truck?
Owner: Yes.
Me: You’re taking up 4 compact spots.
Owner: Well it is a big truck.
Me: There are other non-compact spots to park in.
Owner: Sorry to ruin your day.

My thoughts after that were that “no, you didn’t ruin my day” and
“you’re going on teh interwebs about to be famous on LA Metblogs”.
(His license plate frame says “Ain’t goin down til the sun comes up”.)

Thanks Geoffrey! Another pic after the jump…

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This driver not only straddled the line and took up two spaces, the space on the right is clearly marked “10 Minute Customer Parking,” so if (s)he parked for more than 10 minutes, then bing! bing!, they committed a second violation and can move onto our bonus parking ‘tard round. Actually, “‘tard” is an inaccurate and too charitable term for these folks. I suggest we change it to reflect the deliberate awareness of their actions. How about “asshole?” Or “dickhead?” Maybe “PMLALP” (Person who Makes Life in Los Angeles Less Pleasant)? Any other suggestions?

I ran across this oddity parked next to me Saturday afternoon in Arcadia.  I was gob smacked.  The keys were in the ignition, the car running.  No driver in sight.  I scanned all over and couldn’t see anyone else in the lot.  As I loaded my car with groceries a hundred options of what I could do or should do ran through my head.  My wife was with me and wouldn’t let me check to see if the doors were open and was irritated that I even took a pic with the trusty phone cam. (it does get bigger with a click).

Of course I wouldn’t act on it, but the impulse to move into the cart return corral entered my mind.  So did calling the police, but what would they do?  The former didn’t happen as I think it might have been considered “grand theft auto” and the latter…I just ran out of time and the car had no plates.  

I can’t call it a parking tard as they were completely in the lines.  I can truthfully say the last time I saw that was when a friend of mine and I tried to get  rid of his gremlin by leaving the keys in, windows down and a “for steal” sign on the dash.  (True story and it was a fail).

What would you have done?

Legendary Angelyne's legendary Corvette's legendary parking job.

The selfmade billboard superstar Angelyne was spotted at Nature Mart in Loz Feliz this evening with her trademark pink Corvette. Cutter kindly (and quickly, because at Metblogs this is considered breaking news) sent in the pic.

German Press and Jetta TDI "Green Car of the Year"

Volkswagen did the unimaginable at the LA Auto Show.  It garnered the “Green Car of the Year”.  VW did it with a diesel, not a hybrid, not some exotic fuel, but a performance oriented turbo-DIESEL.  Hopefully that award will open up a few eyes to the ease one can “go green” and not have to give up any driving fun in the process.  (Snark alert:hopefully once and for all it will undo the diesel myths and damage done by GM with their failed attempt of making the diesel an important part of the US auto scene 30 years ago).

When I first heard it started inside the LA Convention center I knew there was going to be something really special about this car.  It didn’t smoke at start.  Other than a quick clatter when it first started it was silent when running.  It was silent under light acceleration.  The exhaust had a faint smell, not the sweet-sour you associate with a gas car, something more or less “nutty”.  Not objectionable, certainly not visible and something you had to look hard to notice.  That is a huge change from the last round of diesel VW’s we saw here a few years ago.

This years LA Auto Show had a few new wrinkles for press days.  The big one was that the manufacturers ponied up nearly 2 dozen “green cars” for the media to drive.   They were all were nominees for “Green Car of the Year” and represented a broad approach to cleaning up our cars more than they already are.  For my driving I opted for those cars that are more traditional in nature that the average guy would feel right at home in and get great results without having to change their driving habits or style.  (Well, one car was just for kicks and giggles simply because I want one.  You have to read to the end to figure out which one it is I wanted).

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This gem of a parking ‘tard (here after referred to as a p’tard) was spotted in Arcadia.  We see variations on the themes daily.  I’m at the point where I’m desensitized to most examples and just learn to roll with it.  This one was good.  To get to it he had to drive on the wrong side of the street.  He didn’t even bother with parallel parking, hell he just sorta drove up over the RED CURB angle parking style and walked away.  Gotta love those that don’t even attempt to make it look like an accident but go for the full in your face FTW I’ll do it however I damn well please kind of parking.

(pic by me with the trusty phone cam)