Win a threesome with Ron Jeremy! (mildly NSFW)
Ron Jeremy
To enter, simply leave a comment adapting the titles of any 3 recent LA Metblogs posts into porn film titles by this Friday at noon. A secret panel of perverts will pick their favorite, and notify the winner sometime Friday afternoon.
“One Eyed Monster,” an R rated horror parody hitting DVD shelves April 28th, stars Ron Jeremy, Amber Benson, Veronica Hart and a handful of character actors and porn stars “playing it straight.”
Plot involves an alien possessing Ron Jeremy’s disembodied penis and going on a killing spree. Or, via the studio copywriters:
In a darkly comic homage to “Alien” and “The Thing”, the cast and crew of an adult film, stranded in a blizzard, must band together against a mysterious and deadly alien, which has possessed the actor with the biggest part–Ron Jeremy (naturally). Now, with the monster on a killing spree, the race is on to trap and destroy it before there are more victims of its peculiar skills.
Watch the trailer, look at stills, order the DVD, and do whatever else comes naturally at the film’s official website.
The giveaway package:
- Dinner with Ron Jeremy for two.
- Ride in the limo and walk the red carpet with Ron and receive VIP seating at the premiere.
- One autographed copy of the DVD.
- Anything else that happens is between the winner and Ron.
Winner will be responsible for arriving at the Hollywood dinner location at 5:30pm Monday, April 27th, and give permission to be photographed/videotaped at the event (not to be stars of the next Ron Jeremy film, but to be included in press about the event). I’m also going to require that the winner and guest be at least 21.
(Also note that the official site also has a contest to “win a nite out with Ron Jeremy” – but doesn’t feature the pre-show dinner or limo ride. Yeah, I’m bragging.)
Again, to win, adapt 3 recent Metblogs post titles into porn film titles below in the comments. Make sure the email attached your Metblogs account is accurate, and be sure to check your email frequently Friday afternoon to see if you’ve won so we can get your name, congratulate you, and all that stuff.
Related posts:
How about:
1) Shooting A Load in Venice
2) Blessing of The Members is Today
3) Sexy Wrestling Pirates
Does "Win A Threesome With Ron Jeremy" count?
Oh, ok.
How about:
Debbie Does Del Ray?
California Creaming?
Shagged In Santa Monica?
1.) Greek The Geek The LA Way
2.) Revenge of The One Eyed Monster (The Sequel)
3.) Coming to LA
Metblogs, thanks for your work. No changes are even necessary.
1> Classic Eats #4: We Pie’d and We Burger’d
2> Open Projector Night At The Hammer
3> LADIES & GENTLEMEN, READY YOUR SPATULAE
@valleypride has a good point, our titles are at least 85% double entendre untouched!
Free Bone Day With Ben N Jerry
Chano’s Carne Giganto
Way Under Ballona’s Crack
I’m proud of the spatulae one.
Oh my god! Dinner with Ron Jeremy! Pick me! Pick me!
I’m not clever enough to adapt the titles, but I’m the most enthusiastic.
MetroBanging XXX Studios Presents:
Spit Caught In My Rectum: Spewy Wet Crack Oral Pups
directed by Willy Cumhole (aka Will Campbell)
Hell-Lay’s Top Ass Expend Orgasma’s Bound Ball Queefing
directed by Gay-vid Cockwand (aka David Markland)
Sexplosion in Down-Low Play!
directed by JizJizJiz (aka jozjozjoz)
Buy all 3 MetroBanging dvds and get a free BONUS XXX Title:
The Proper Way To Eat Cocks
by Rabid Cock-Ho (aka Travis Koplow)
All XXX dvds feature such MetroBanging Superstars like Ruth69, Shiny Boner, QueefQueef, Julia Spray and a special appearance by Hetero-Flogging SM Queen Loose-sin-da.
"It Caught My Retina: New Retna/Mac Mural Up"
"LA’s Top Brass Attend Obama’s Town Hall Meeting"
"Explosion in Downtown LA"
"The Proper Way To Eat Lox"
"Getcha Jackman Onda X"
"Fuck tha Little Old Lady from Pasadena Invitational"
"Peep! Erotic Retina Stimulus Night at The Hammer"
How about three that require no adaptations?
"ReForm School Girl"
"Notes Of A Dirty Old Man"
"Please Love Me"
With compliments to @missrftc
AH, valleypride beat me to it, so to speak. Mine are all from one author, that has to count for something.
Aw, thanks @es!
Three more of my posts that require no adaptation:
1. $1 Sushi Today Only
2. East Coast Flavor On The East Side
3. Pour Some Sugar On Me
missrftc, it’s only a matter of time before you’re awarded an honorary doctorate in *mildly NSFW*
@Andy Sternberg: Mildly? Well then I’m not trying hard enough!
I think it goes without saying that Metblogs authors are ineligible to win, so quit trying Verdell! If you really want to meet Ron, just email me and I’ll try to set it up. Sheesh. Cheater. :p
@David OK, FINE! You can have RJ! ;-)
Uh…
Restroom Art of Los Angeles: George Michael Paints the Will Rogers Memorial Park Men’s Room
Front Porch Patriotism Sluts 17
Spotted in Santa Monica: Mr. Hands Meets a Leopard
The Drive-In is Back: Masterbators of Whorer Series Cums April 3rd
Queer ye! Queer ye!
The Fourth Way of Giving: Head with Whores
Remember to Cum Out and Eat Out Everyone At Classic Skeet night
Don’t know about y’all, but my votes are with valleypride and keekle.
Restroom Lesbian Tire Lickers
Front Porch Swing Club
Que Onda, Verga?
three more
Front Porch Mamas
Trippin’ back door style
Hot Asian Happy Endings
ICME: One Eyed Monster
Penis! Getcha Penis!
Spotted in Santa Monica: Gang Bang
Uncle Woody brings you: "Flood in Your Rear"
Classic Beat-Offs #5: "Keep on Pokin’"
Balls on Cheeks Volume 2: "Nearing Cumpletion"
"Schlongs About Los Angeles"
"New Cum Is Runny"
"Second Hardest"
"California DPing" by Your Mama and the Papas
Restroom Romp of Los Angeles: In the Beverly Hills Broad
"Que Onda Gonzo" by Beck
keekle has my vote, not that I get a voice in the matter. This is one of the funnest contests in a while.
Okay I’m here in hopes I might be able to win the place of the "friend" that gets to go with the Winner on this threesome with Ron Jeremy. After reading all the steamy titles created by assumably lustful persons, I realized just how long it’s been since I’ve had a date.
So I thought maybe when on of you wins and looks to invite a date for threesome date, you may want to know that I am a delightful date ;) As for Ron Jeremy, I would use him for one purpose and that is to go out on a date with….?
That wasn’t desperate sounding now was it?
[...] Congratulations to “Keekle” for offending our authors by not just adapting post titles into porn films, but also adapting our names into those of porn stars. You can see his contribution in the original post here. [...]
[...] The occasion was the premiere at the Fine Arts Theatre on Wilshire of the very independent horror-comedy “One Eyed Monster,” introducing, per the film’s credits, Ron Jeremy. And I would be there as the winner of LA Metblog’s “Win A Threesome with Ron Jeremy” contest. I won’t go into how I won – I’ll just say my mother is very proud. [...]