This morning we were craving oatmeal and my initial intention was to go to the Bright Spot until I remembered that I always get their grits, not oatmeal. I thought about it for a while and realized that all the awesome oatmeal I’ve had hasn’t been in LA so I turned to my old friend the internet for suggestions. I found a handful of suggestions for places an hour or more away and quite a few pointing me to The Coffee Table Bistro ^[1] in Eagle Rock. I’ve been to the Silver Lake location before and people have told me to check out the Eagle Rock one so I thought this would be a good chance. Turns out that was a really bad idea. It sucked bigtime. Here’s why:

1. “Fresh Squeezed OJ” was poured out of a gallon plastic jug which looked like it was from concentrate.
2. Upon tasting this orange colored beverage, I was shocked to find they thought it was Orange Juice.
3. Oatmeal was bland and tasteless, despite the craisins liberally dumped on top.
4. The tofu scramble I ordered was literally diced, unseasoned tofu with what seemed like frozen rice and veggies.
5. Their definition of a latte apparently is 90% foam, 9% milk, 1% coffee. Mine is a little different.
6. Super expensive, breakfast at a corner cafe for 2 people should not be almost $50
7. When the person who brought us our food asked “can I get you anything else” we said “yeah, could we have some water” we were rudely told “our water is self serve, you can get it yourself in the other room.”
8. Tara ordered an omelet which was dry and served a bit cold.
9. The feta cheese on said omelet was salty and gross.
10. We both went in feeling a little sick looking for yummy breakfast to make everything better, but instead felt worse and wanted to puke when we left.

In closing, I’d heartily recommend staying the hell away from there and if anyone tells you their food is good you should kick them in the shin and spit in their eye. Also, then go somewhere else instead.

Related posts:

1. You got your DJ in my coffee shop ^[2]
2. Gifts for the New Depression: Chemex Coffee Maker $40 ^[3]
3. L.A. Likes Coffee & Red Bull ^[4]
4. Restroom art of Los Angeles: Johnie’s Coffee Shop ^[5]
5. Cranks, Cams and Computers: tonight!! ^[6]